bye Q:3

It's the worst feeling in the world to love & hate someone all at the same time.
And it's hard to watch things change when all I want is for them to stay the same.
It's funny but stupid how I want everything & nothing at the same time.
It's crazy when I want to let go, but I keep holding on, & when I want to move on but I'm stuck right where I started.
When feelings come and go & I can't decide what I want.
When I have so many things to say but I don't know where to start.
When I want them in my life so bad, but all I can do is push them farther & farther away.
It's so hard to think back to how things used to be & look at it now and I realize that things are different & they may never be the same.
I tell myself it's not worth it, but if it really didn't matter, I wouldn't spend so much time thinking about it..

Thank you for the memories that we've shared in a short time..
Godbless! , Jya ne! Q:3

pieces. . .

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple, that she can say a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love. . . =.=

1:31 AM

Purity once had a name,
and beauty once had a face.
Life once had a meaning,
and once I was safe.
Once there was freedom,
and once I could laugh.
Happiness once was alive,
and once I had another half.
Once I shared her love,
Once i was by her side,
Once I felt I fitted,
So quickly that died.
Her grace so great,
Her beauty so vast,
All i ever wanted,
was for it to last.
Fate maybe had another plan,
Or maybe she had another love,
But it all fell apart,
The hand too big for the glove.
Now its all died away,
Happiness, joy, love, and all memories.
Now I walk alone in this dark, dark world again,
With no light to guide my way...

( SnC.LordMaster ) -- again =.=

1:04 AM

Loving you is the best thing I've ever felt. But at the same time painful. Why do I continue to fall for you so much knowing that we could never be together? Is it that your love is so captivating, it blooms into my soul like a flower rooted in its place. I cannot escape, nor do I want to.

Just thinking of you makes me smile! When I'm close to you with your loving arms around me, it makes me feel like heaven. Feeling as though a fairytale could exist between us.

I'd give anything to feel your love. Without you, I am empty. Lonely, unable to function, feeling as if I'm dying inside.

Back in your arms for awhile, my soul lives again, and learn the meaning of happiness. Never wanting to leave your side, I can see only you and nothing else. When I hold you, I only wish to hold you tighter.

From the moment I wake up. I think of you till I fall asleep at night. And even then, you are in my dreams. I know you love me, but you don't love me the way you really wanted to. I've fallen so deep for you that I'm willing to accept only having part of you, and not being able to have all of you.

Please don't tell me you love me from the start, if you don't really mean it. I would rather see you be with the other guys and be happy. Then having you next to me but someone else is holding your heart. I'm wondering what would hurt more? Being with you, or seeing you and knowing your heart belongs to another?

I love you. I hope one day I will find someone else who can love me more Than I Loved You. Because I can't stop loving you, am I destined to be without love?


( SnC.LordMaster ) -- to my first Love . . .

GlobaL Toast :)

Global warming is a fact, it is not something made up by scientist or tree huggers to make your life miserable. It is something that will change how we live anyway so why not do something now to make the world better for your grandchildren and their grandchildren. I know many of us don’t have money to spend, but even a little can help a lot. Change your light bulbs to florescent. Recycle whatever you can.

Today I read an article on yahoo about the rain forest. Because of global warming and bad practices by people who live in the area the rain forest are disappearing. This means a lot more then you think. There is more carbon being released from the dead trees and since there are not as many trees to use it they can’t cope. This doesn’t just effect the temperature it effects peoples lives. They will lose soil and a way to eat and survive.

What does this mean for you. Well a huge rise in temperature. Lets put it this way, the icebergs will melt, and way too hot summers. The proof is even just in my lifetime and I’m 18. Rainny days use to be much shorter here in philippines and I don't like it because you had time to get use to the hotness here. There was also usually rainny cold days on Christmas. Now there is hardly anything and it gets hot so quick that you don’t have time to grow accustom to it. The other problem is that summers are hotter and killing more and more people and I hate it >.<

Maybe I just expect too much out of mankind. Maybe I don’t expect enough. >:3

Foods can turn us to Zombies!.. haha isn't that great :3

There's been quite a ruckus in the news recently about Genetically Modified Food. The subject raises a number of questions....is it safe? Is it cheap? Is it tasty? Is it ethical? Will eating modified food turn us all into rabid mutant zombies? hahaha XD.. Personally, I think the answers are 'yes', 'no', 'probably', 'who cares?', and 'dur!?.., I hope so, just to spice things up a little around here'. Not necessarily in that order, of course.

At any rate, I'm all for fiddling with our food's DNA. We already cross-breed crops, shoot livestock full of growth juice, and pretty up the results with food coloring and pretty packaging. Why not just cut to the chase and engineer the stuff the way we want it in the first place? And as long as we're going to the trouble, let's go all the way. Forget adding a vitamin here or a hormone there; we're at the top of the food chain, so let's start acting like it. With that in mind, I have a few specific suggestions on modifications I'd like to see: YEAH! >:3

Cows that milk themselves: Think of all the trouble we've gone to over the years to squeeze the moo juice out of the big beasts. Farmers get up before dawn for it, which is inconvenient at best....and how do you think the cows feel about it? You think your doctor has cold hands? Just imagine if your exam was at five in the morning, in your bedroom, and concentrated largely on the nipples? That's not good for anyone. And those big, expensive milking machines....what a waste of effort. Why don't we just finagle the cows to do it themselves? Engineer an arm or two down there; maybe even a funnel of some kind to help out. It just seems easier all around.

Rice in designer colors: I think everyone's bored of the same tired old white rice. Brown rice is okay (hmm like bico?.. :P), but it's not particularly exciting. Nobody gets a rush when they see plain old rice on the plate. But what if it were green and red, to match the side salad? Or the same subtle gold as your meat steak? Or neon blue, wakokok....just because it can be? Now that's an idea I can sink my teeth into. Maybe we could even manage to give the stuff some taste, while we're at it.

Ultra huge chicken??.. Everybody loves chicken drumsticks, right? So let's grow the birds that way in the first place....tasty legs for everyone! Presuming we can catch the chicken, of course.

These are just a few suggestions. If we're really committed to this, anything's possible....self-peeling oranges, potatoes the size of watermelons, vegetables that looks like mega veins or uber HUGE Bananas haha XD. And isn't that worth the risk of turning into a zombie? meh ghed! >:3

i <3 to rant!.. haha >:3

it's been awhile hahaha...

i have a lot to say everyday but just that i can't make into words that i can tell everyone..

yea right, like anyone will read this shit anyway..

lately many things is happening. and i not happy of what is happening around.

it's seems like everything bad is revolving around me ever since then.

it's like making a great cup of coffee but sugar is missing..

making a delicious blueberry cake with sour blueberry instead of sweet..

travelling around town knowing no where to go but to stay there and look at people passing by..

seeing them smiling or laugh at silly small joke or even little things..

what's the point anyway?

why don't i just go away and get on with my life?

that's the thing, that is my life since i fell into the deepest abyss of sorrow..

i don't want to be like this again..

i didn't choose to be this way..

i want to smile big and laugh at anything i can..

is this the curse that i hold?

is this the karma what i have done?

is this the who i suppose to be in this life?

is it me who holding myself back?

is it me the toy for the heaven's entertainment to play around?

if it's so, then why me?

i wish to change all this..

all this non-sense and all this bullshit, left it behind or lock it in the treasure chest and throw it to the sea..

or burn it with the hell fire with the pact with the demon..

i would even put up my name if i have a deathnote.. haha >:3

i know ranting doesn't help it..

it all need to happen by the will of myself..

but how you get up without anyone support you?

how to do you wanna go through the toughest day of your life without anyone encourage you to do it?

how to deal all those problems and pain in the ass without someone listen to you when you burst it?

who to turn to when things getting complicated?

in short, i felt neglected by people that i hold LOVE all this while..

i hate who's being childish enough to make others f**k up. (g-himong tanga)
left alone and lie flying toward me..

i knew they were lies but i just let it pass by..

why do i let them?

*sigh*

anyway, in our comlab they have installed a web filter..

it's annoying because all my favourite web pages been block (even soompi) sh*t..

another point for me to get furious about stuff right now..

this is very bad around me now..

and they say good people have good karma..

i will say that is bullshit..

i'm not a saint but i don't do no evil stuff..

so why don't i have at least a bit of happiness?
suckz though,.. -_-

B-u-k-i-d haha XD

I have heard so many people who have told me to move to a small town (Bukid) to get away from all the drug and gang issues the cities seem to have. When they tell me this I usually start laughing uncontrollably and can’t stop.

Why do people think small towns are better places to live? Yes the crime rate is usually not as bad as a city so I will give you that one, but where have you gotten the information that small towns are better because there is no drug use or gang involvement? Oh I know the media. Well guess what, small towns are just as bad as the cities are. The difference, small town teens and adults know how to hide what they do. When you live in a city no one pays attention to you, when you live in a small town everyone knows what your doing, they know who your with, where you went and most of the time exactly what you said. Scary huh?

This is one reason I know a little about rehab programs I have had at least 3 known neighbors who have gone though Cocaine Rehab and a few more that probably should. I never got into drugs so I personally don’t have to worry about it, but I have seen the effects of people who do drugs and it’s not pretty. Cocaine Rehabs is a blog that I think could be very helpful to my friends and anyone who has ever had an addiction. One post talks about not being afraid of addiction treatment. I think this is the main reason people don’t get help. They are afraid to change. Another post talks about HIV and how drug use can spread that.

I will be giving this site out to a few friends who I think need to check it out. If I have to I’ll take them to the rehab myself, hahaha. They waste too much money and time with there addictions and I really think they would be happier if they stopped doing what there doing. Faggs XD