bye Q:3

It's the worst feeling in the world to love & hate someone all at the same time.
And it's hard to watch things change when all I want is for them to stay the same.
It's funny but stupid how I want everything & nothing at the same time.
It's crazy when I want to let go, but I keep holding on, & when I want to move on but I'm stuck right where I started.
When feelings come and go & I can't decide what I want.
When I have so many things to say but I don't know where to start.
When I want them in my life so bad, but all I can do is push them farther & farther away.
It's so hard to think back to how things used to be & look at it now and I realize that things are different & they may never be the same.
I tell myself it's not worth it, but if it really didn't matter, I wouldn't spend so much time thinking about it..

Thank you for the memories that we've shared in a short time..
Godbless! , Jya ne! Q:3

pieces. . .

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple, that she can say a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love. . . =.=

1:31 AM

Purity once had a name,
and beauty once had a face.
Life once had a meaning,
and once I was safe.
Once there was freedom,
and once I could laugh.
Happiness once was alive,
and once I had another half.
Once I shared her love,
Once i was by her side,
Once I felt I fitted,
So quickly that died.
Her grace so great,
Her beauty so vast,
All i ever wanted,
was for it to last.
Fate maybe had another plan,
Or maybe she had another love,
But it all fell apart,
The hand too big for the glove.
Now its all died away,
Happiness, joy, love, and all memories.
Now I walk alone in this dark, dark world again,
With no light to guide my way...

( SnC.LordMaster ) -- again =.=

1:04 AM

Loving you is the best thing I've ever felt. But at the same time painful. Why do I continue to fall for you so much knowing that we could never be together? Is it that your love is so captivating, it blooms into my soul like a flower rooted in its place. I cannot escape, nor do I want to.

Just thinking of you makes me smile! When I'm close to you with your loving arms around me, it makes me feel like heaven. Feeling as though a fairytale could exist between us.

I'd give anything to feel your love. Without you, I am empty. Lonely, unable to function, feeling as if I'm dying inside.

Back in your arms for awhile, my soul lives again, and learn the meaning of happiness. Never wanting to leave your side, I can see only you and nothing else. When I hold you, I only wish to hold you tighter.

From the moment I wake up. I think of you till I fall asleep at night. And even then, you are in my dreams. I know you love me, but you don't love me the way you really wanted to. I've fallen so deep for you that I'm willing to accept only having part of you, and not being able to have all of you.

Please don't tell me you love me from the start, if you don't really mean it. I would rather see you be with the other guys and be happy. Then having you next to me but someone else is holding your heart. I'm wondering what would hurt more? Being with you, or seeing you and knowing your heart belongs to another?

I love you. I hope one day I will find someone else who can love me more Than I Loved You. Because I can't stop loving you, am I destined to be without love?


( SnC.LordMaster ) -- to my first Love . . .

GlobaL Toast :)

Global warming is a fact, it is not something made up by scientist or tree huggers to make your life miserable. It is something that will change how we live anyway so why not do something now to make the world better for your grandchildren and their grandchildren. I know many of us don’t have money to spend, but even a little can help a lot. Change your light bulbs to florescent. Recycle whatever you can.

Today I read an article on yahoo about the rain forest. Because of global warming and bad practices by people who live in the area the rain forest are disappearing. This means a lot more then you think. There is more carbon being released from the dead trees and since there are not as many trees to use it they can’t cope. This doesn’t just effect the temperature it effects peoples lives. They will lose soil and a way to eat and survive.

What does this mean for you. Well a huge rise in temperature. Lets put it this way, the icebergs will melt, and way too hot summers. The proof is even just in my lifetime and I’m 18. Rainny days use to be much shorter here in philippines and I don't like it because you had time to get use to the hotness here. There was also usually rainny cold days on Christmas. Now there is hardly anything and it gets hot so quick that you don’t have time to grow accustom to it. The other problem is that summers are hotter and killing more and more people and I hate it >.<

Maybe I just expect too much out of mankind. Maybe I don’t expect enough. >:3